Life is too short for bad sex, so once you are in a relationship, the sex should be good. And when it is, it’s part of the glue that binds you two together. When it’s not, it can be the wedge that drives you apart. Here are 6 things all happy couples admit are absolutely true when it comes to sex.
1-Too little, too good
Quantity may go down over the years, but the quality generally should go up. Congratulations if you’re still going at it after all this time, but in general, you’ll have sex less often the longer you’re together, which is fine as long as you’re both still doing the things that drive your partner crazy—and learning new ones.
2- No one’s orgasm is more important than the other’s
Equality extends to the bedroom, too. Thinking either of your pleasure matters more than the other’s might lead to resentment, which can suck the soul out of a relationship. People in happy relationships prize each other’s pleasure because seeing their partner happy makes them happy.
3-Your sex life will shrivel up like a prune if you don’t experiment
Humans are living longer than ever. That is generally great except when it comes to monogamy—it’s a lot harder to stay sexually interested in one person for decades on end. That’s where trying to introduce new things in the bedroom comes into play… It’s always fun to experiment and keep things interesting.
4- Using sex as a relationship weapon is a no-no
Sex is not something to be bartered, nor a means of controlling someone. Clearly you don’t need to have sex when you’re upset with your partner, but withholding sex solely to prove a point or gain leverage, rather than trying to fix a problem, is relationship poison.
5- Mundane things can actually be really hot
Being in a long-term relationship means you’ll have a lot of normal days together. But people in happy relationships know to open their eyes to the potential sexiness of those moments. Like, when your partner cleans the kitchen because you hate doing it, pause to really take in what it means: that they’re trying to make you happy, which can be one of the sexiest things of all.
6- Absence makes “down there” grow fonder
Give yourselves a chance to miss each other. Being attached at the hip is not always good for your relationship. When you spend some time apart, you maintain a level of independence that is really hot and a way for you two to seem novel to each other, like there’s always some fascinatingly sexy tidbit to discover about the other person. You also get to see each other with fresh eyes.