How to let him down gently

He might have made a good impression the first time you saw him, but after a few dates, you realize you’ve made a mistake. But there’s no need to be horrible about it, below are some easy steps to let him down gently.

No WhatsApp

Do it face to face. The least you can do is have the courtesy to break up with him in person. Even if you are not interested in him anymore, remember why he first caught your eye and use this to show him the courtesy he deserves by letting him down gently. A text or email is the easy way out.

No false hope

Don’t be too nice so as to give him false hope that you might rekindle something in the future. Make it clear this is the end and wish him all the best for the rest of his life and upcoming relationships. But whatever you do, do not use the generic ‘it’s not me, it’s you’ line as this is just insulting. Speak from the heart.

Quick is best

To avoid unnecessary pain, you need to get it over and done with. If you’re the one ending things, then he will no doubt be gutted that you just aren’t interested anymore. Don’t keep him talking for ages, he would have suffered a huge blow and he will probably just want to leave.


Even if you are not interested in him on a romantic level, this doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. If you genuinely clicked and enjoy his company, then don’t let this go. I can guarantee that some sort of contact would be better than dropping the guy completely.

It’s not news!

You have just let him down (as gently as possible) but there is no need to shout it from the rooftops. Think of his feelings and show him some respect.

Be firm

Okay so you have prepared yourself to let him down gently but nothing can prepare you for how they might react. The key is to be firm and stick to your decision either way. The guy might get upset, he might say nothing, he might be angry and try and take it out on you. Keep your cool but don’t let him feel guilty for your decision as you can’t help how you feel and there is nothing worse than staying with someone out of pity. This is really important when letting him down gently

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